Show me
by BlueBastard
Summary: Spock Prime had unknowingly unleashed a torrent of primal, heated memories into Kirk's mind. How will the Captain deal with the situation, especially when Spock makes it his goal to find out what's wrong with Jim? Simple, he'll run. SLASH M/M
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, nor do I make any profit from this whatsoever.

-o-o-o-

"Coward…" The voice, normally stoic, trembled with an unidentifiable tone.

Jim Kirk halted his steps, growing rigid as his brain confirmed what his ears had heard. He turned slightly, feet still posed as if to say he was still going to walk away. His voice came out gruffer than he had intended, "What did you say?"

He never thought he'd hear that word from him. From Starfleet officers, sure. Enemies, possibly. Even new recruits stood a better chance of accusing Kirk of this. But the Vulcan…?

Spock took advantage of the Captain's hesitance to close the remaining yards between them, halting so close to the human he could feel his body heat bouncing off the other, "I am aware that your senses have not failed you yet… Captain."

"If I didn't know any better, Commander, I could almost swear you are implying that I'm old. And not in the good way." Jim's mouth spat out in default, his mind unable to work correctly in the limited amount of space his First Commander was giving him. There were only a few times the Vulcan ever got this close. The very air between them would sizzle, as though the friction of their personalities were made tangible in a very physical sense. Out of all those times they were this close, there had only been one time that energy had resulted in anything. And that was when Spock had come a hair too close to squeezing the very life out of Kirk.

"I do not appreciate your attempts to dodge the topic at hand." Spock said stiffly, his hands clenched tightly behind his back. When the Captain looked into those brown eyes, he could read very clearly what the Vulcan was saying: 'You *know* what I said… coward.'

James Tiberius Kirk felt a muscle twitch in his face, right under his left eye. He did NOT like that word. He couldn't stand the implications, nor could he stand being associated with it. It's what his stepfather always called his mom. Even his older brother Sam, who had run away when Jim was very young. If anything, Jim stayed with his stepfather as long as he did just so he wouldn't be called that despicable… word.

"Perhaps there were truths behind the rumors circulating back at the Starfleet Academy." Spock said in a matter-of-fact tone, his head tilted slightly to the side.

"…Spock…" Kirk did not like the way this conversation was headed.

"Those rumors… centered around your father…"

"Don't…" Jim growled in warning, fully facing the Vulcan, though he was not aware of when he had done so.

The Vulcan's brow raised inquisitively, though Jim swears he could almost see a smirk as Spock continues on dangerous ground, "Perhaps… Captain… the reason your father never left the ship was because he truly was a cow-"

The human moved so fast, Spock didn't have enough time to block the blow to jaw. Surprised, the Vulcan actually stepped back a couple steps from the force, his head snapping forward to perceive the next, incoming threat to his person. Sure enough, the Captain was barreling towards him, blind in his rage.

This may have caught the Vulcan off guard if he hadn't been expecting this. Hadn't planned for this to happen. He flashed back to when the Captain had made him compromise himself emotionally a few months ago, before they had defeated Nero. Now, from the other perspective, he had to admit the taste was equally as bitter on the giving end as it was on the receiving.

Sadly enough, however, this was a refreshing response compared to what James had been dishing out the past couple weeks.

The stoic looks, the rigid posture, all of it uncharacteristic for Jim's usual, arrogant display of humanistic natures and tendencies. When Spock had gone out of his way to mention it to the Captain, it conveniently turned out Kirk applied for leave the very next day.

Grabbing the front of Jim's standard yellow Starfleet shirt, Spock used the dirty-blonde's momentum against himself, as he pivoted to slam the Captain against the wall, blue angry eyes glaring at him.

Back against the wall, Kirk struggled, though he realized it was a lost cause. He couldn't make the Vulcan release his neck back then, and he couldn't make him let go of his shirt now. Realizing he needed an alternative plan of action, Kirk found himself grabbing Spock's wrist as he demanded, "As Captain of this vessel, I order you to release me."

"As First Commander, I diagnose that you are under stress and are emotionally compromised. As such, I hereby waive your rights to give orders until such a time that you return to the stable levels you were able to achieve prior to these last couple weeks." Spock responded, staring down the Captain's furious eyes with his own steeled brown, showing no signs of strain from his single-handed hold.

That was Spock in a nutshell for you. Always one step ahead. Bitterly, Kirk said aloud, "This is why I hate playing Chess with you, you know that?"

Quirking his eyebrow slightly higher, the Vulcan ignored the statement to say, "You will tell me the reasons behind your actions for the past lunar cycle."

Jim started to break out in a sweat. What was he supposed to tell Spock? That his older self had let slip a few memories Kirk was never supposed to get a hold of? That these past weeks have been torture because he would catch himself looking at Spock, wondering what could be…? Jim Kirk had never been adverse to the opposite sex, but he had always thought of himself as a ladies' man. Not to mention, the object of his newly piqued interest was a man who, more often than not, seemed to want him dead.

"There is nothing I have to say to that." Kirk replied, amazed with how calm his voice was.

Spock's jaw tightened ever so slightly. The change was so small that Jim wasn't sure he would have seen it if they weren't so close. Kirk couldn't help the small gasp that escaped as the Vulcan raised his arm, the grip on the Captain's shirt tightening as Jim found his feet dangling a couple inches from the ground as a result of the movement. Though Spock was now glaring up at him, Jim found it made the gaze no less threatening.

"As acting Captain, you *will* answer me." Spock's voice trembled ever-so-slightly, while remaining as steel-edged as ever.

"I…" Kirk faltered, consumed by the intense emotion in those brown pools. But he snapped out of it quickly, grabbing onto his lifeline of wit as he replied, "I respectfully refuse… *acting* Captain." He even threw a smirk in it, for good measure.

The Vulcan grew so rigid, the human was no longer sure if the First Commander was even breathing. Jim thought he had him then. If he refused to tell the Vulcan, then no one need ever know. The Captain would simply take the leave he had requested, take a few weeks to cool off whatever his overheated brain had tried to ponder, and come back right as rain. Except… crap. Spock's eyes hardened, as though he had come to a resolution.

"If you will not tell me, then I will make you *show* me." Spock's voice was like iron in its determination.

"What are you-" Kirk frowned, unsure of what exactly the Vulcan was planning on doing.

But then he saw it. The way Spock extended his free hand, fingers curled minutely, as he reached for the side of Jim's face. Flashing back to the cave incident, Kirk didn't have to know the technicalities of the mind meld to know what would happen. His embarrassing secret… would be exposed. Jim would rather the Vulcan choke him to death rather than face the disgust that would emanate from his features at the realization.

Jim's eyes widened, and he leaned as far from that hand as he could, almost willing himself to sink into the wall behind him.

"…don't…" Kirk barely got through his suddenly dry throat.

"You leave me no choice," Spock said, his frown deepening as he continued, "I will not harm you."

Just before those fingers reached the melding points, Jim's panicked blue eyes flitted up to meet the Vulcan's. He opened his mouth to say no, but what came out instead was a choked, "…Spock."

This would break their small truce. The friendship that was barely beginning would end in a fiery inferno of loathing and self-hatred. The former by Spock and the latter by Kirk.

The Vulcan's head snapped back as though it had been slapped, the moment his fingers brushed Kirk's temple and jaw. The initial meld was so intense, so powerful, that Spock found himself battling against a torrent. Trying to sort out individual memories and emotions was just as difficult.

Spock heard his name, echoing through the essence of Jim's mind. Fighting the overwhelming determination flooding through Kirk's mind, the Vulcan steeled himself and reached out to grab the first handful of memories.

The past weeks. He saw himself though Jim's eyes. On the bridge, in the mess hall, in the Captain's quarters as they played chess. That seemed to be the only time he could get Jim to let his guard down, when they were immersed in the fascinating tactical game. But he pushed this information aside as irrelevant. He was the First Officer and Kirk was the Captain, of course they would be seeing a lot of each other.

Spock pulled back from memories and instead reached out for recent thoughts and feelings. The threads were scattered, fleeing. But the Vulcan managed to grab a hold of one. In an instant, Spock felt a strange jolting sensation traveling from his fingertips to the rest of his body. Warm.

Eyes still closed, Spock frowned and tilted his head to the side. He delved deeper into the thought, curiosity driving him as well as the need to resolve the Captain's dilemma. He saw himself, or his older self, in the cave with the Captain.

Shock ran through the Vulcan as he realized Spock Prime had just finished a mind meld with the Captain. Jim was staggering, unstable. His feelings were a rush of intense flashes. One in particular loomed over the rest, as he looked straight into his older self's eyes.

Strange, the feeling was-

'NO' Kirk's mental voice sounded panicked, but was strong nonetheless.

Spock stumbled back, physically releasing the Captain even as he steadied himself, attempting to recover from Kirk's surprisingly strong and capable mental shields.

When the Vulcan opened his eyes, he saw Kirk supporting himself on the wall, looking shaken.

"Go into my mind again without my permission…" Captain Kirk looked furious, his eyes heated, "Vulcan strength or not… I'm taking you down."

Spock could only watch as the Captain walked away, stunned. It wasn't just his words or his actions, it was what the Vulcan had discovered. The human had looked at Spock Prime and what he felt…

…It had been *love*.

-o-o-o-

As the heat beat down mercilessly on him, Jim wondered for the millionth time why he had requested his leave be on this place. But even as he trudged wearily forward, Kirk knew he was on New Vulcan because he needed some answers. Some sort of closure to these outpouring of emotions he had gotten from Spock Prime.

If he couldn't function normally around Spock, in his own ship, then he was a useless Captain. He couldn't do that. He had to fix this. For the crew. For himself. And for Spock.

He knocked on the residence and waited patiently, hands clasped behind his back. When he thought of his posture, however, he was instantly reminded of Spock. A memory flashed through his mind. Heated hands ran down, from his collarbone to his waist, caressing. Pleasure spiked as they-

The door opened to reveal a surprised Vulcan, who was left to look at an extremely flushed and embarrassed Starfleet Captain.

"Jim…" Spock Prime said in pleasant surprise, the warmth in the tones stilling Jim's rapid heartbeat for a single moment.

"I…" Kirk was lost for words.

Reading the pain in the human's eyes, Spock Prime asked, concerned, "What is troubling you? Come, it is cooler inside."

Wanting to tell the elder that 'no, it wouldn't be', at least, never where there was a version of Spock around. Instead, he closed his gaping mouth and formed a smile, nodding, before he headed past Spock Prime into his dwelling.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: No own. No profit. No sue.

-o-o-o-

Jim didn't even know where to start.

Right now, he was sitting in the room next to the balcony, the glass revealing the harsh landscape in a beautiful light.

When Spock Prime cleared his throat, Jim's eyes flicked towards him without meaning to. Immediately he imagined Spock during mid-throes of passion. Cursing inwardly, Jim stifled the heat threatening to envelope his cheeks. Embarrassed by his thoughts, the Captain shifted his gaze down to the hot cup of tea in his hands.

"What is troubling you?" Spock Prime repeated, concern furrowing his brow.

"I'd… rather not say." Kirk said slowly, his thumb playing slowly with the handle of the cup.

When the Captain looked up, the Vulcan was looking at him with the most quizzical expression he had ever seen on any Vulcan's face. Feeling rather childish, Kirk found himself looking away once more. He had brought up the courage to come all this way, to risk the fury of his First Commander in taking this leave in the first place, and now he was going to proceed to act like a pre-pubescent teen about to reveal his first crush?

He barely heard the other move when he felt the couch dip next to him with the added weight. Startled, he almost dropped his cup when Spock Prime placed a hand on his arm, "Jim… ease your burden and tell me what worries you so."

Without looking at the other, Jim closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. Well, it was either now or never.

Placing the cup of tea on the low table before him, Kirk took a large sigh as though he were preparing to dive off a cliff, his hands wringing nervously on his jeans, "I… back in the cave when… uh, with the mind meld…"

At each string of words, before Jim would pause, he saw the furrow in Spock Prime's brow deepen.

Feeling like he would much rather stab his eye out with the dull end of a spoon, the Captain swallowed audibly. Might as well get it over with. Why only kill yourself halfway, after all?

Turning his eyes away, looking out the glass door at the arid landscape, Jim was suddenly reminded of his home back in Earth. It bolstered him enough to just spit out the beginning to his little confession, "And then I got all these images, you know, of you and the other Jim. It was weird, and I honestly feel bad about having seen 'em, you know? Because they all seemed kinda… private."

"Jim…" The way Spock Prime said his name had always been affectionate. But this time…

Kirk didn't know how he had the strength to tear away from the gaze. He sure as hell tried not to look at the Vulcan during his short little speech. However he had managed it, it seemed his courage seemed to be failing at the same pace his heart beat in his chest.

"Anyway, that's all I came here to say-"

"Jim."

"-and to say that I'm sorry." The Captain continued, as though the Vulcan hadn't said anything.

"Jim."

"And..." Kirk stood ramrod straight, doing an about face as he attempted to walk out of there, "…I should really just…" He found his words interrupted as a soft grip on his arm made him turn around. The Captain could feel the intense body heat of Spock Prime radiating behind him. When his blue eyes finally rose to meet those wizened brown, Jim could only finish lamely, "…go."

There was such a longing in Spock Prime's eyes. Jim realized now, going here to him in his home was not only placing Jim's feelings on the line, but Spock Prime's as well. The older Spock was isolated in this time stream, torn from his own Jim. And here Jim was, trying to pour his confused heart out about his own Spock, and…

If the Captain thought he was stiff before, it was nothing at all compared to how he was now. He felt as though he were stiff as a board, unbelieving.

The older Vulcan was… kissing him.

Hands, wizened yet still strong, ghosted across his skin, trailing heat wherever they went. Jim couldn't help but gasp at the skill, his open mouth left vulnerable to Spock Prime, who took advantage of the breach to stroke within the Captain's moist depths.

Just as Jim began forcing his mind to work, Spock Prime pulled back. As if sensing the other needed time, and space, the Vulcan stepped away from the other as well, though his hands remained on Jim's shoulders.

"Is that what you felt, Jim?"

"I…" What else could he say? "…Yeah, that was… yeah that was it, actually…"

Jim, confused now more than ever, wasn't sure whether to look the older Vulcan in the eye or not.

"Jim…" Spock Prime said softly, urging the other to look at him. When their gazes met, the older Vulcan stated, "This is not something you should be ashamed of. If anyone should be feeling ashamed, it should be I. To have forced such feelings on you-"

"You didn't." Jim said in a rush, interrupting the older male. Realizing he had cut off the Vulcan mid-sentence, Jim closed his mouth sheepishly, before continuing his explanation at a slower pace, "You didn't force those feelings, Spock Prime. I think… I'm pretty sure I had them all along. But now… I…"

"You don't know what you should do." The Vulcan finished the sentence for him, his eyebrow quirked as he gave a sad smile.

Jim laughed. At the insanity of it all. About him and Spock's alternate reality version of himself. At how weird it was that Spock Prime always knew exactly what he wanted. What he needed…

"You always know what to say…" Jim stated, running a hand through his hair, "I… on the other hand, have a tendency to screw up everything around me. I feel like such an idiot! Here I am, trying to get your help, but I'm just hurting you too, aren't I? I'm such a fucking moron!"

Spock Prime allowed the rant to go on, before asking, "What do you require of me, Jim? What did you come here for?"

"I…" Jim swallowed. Hard. What did he come here for? Was it just to confess his feelings over someone who could never love him back? Or was it for something more…?

The air seemed to tense around them. The Captain wasn't sure if he was breathing. But Spock Prime's face seemed to be closer than before. Would he mind if they kissed once again? Maybe it wouldn't be his own Spock, but it was better than nothing. Right? Except he couldn't.

He couldn't hurt Spock Prime like that.

The older Vulcan was hurting just as bad. Worse, even. He had decades to experience the love Jim could only glance at.

"No… we shouldn't…" Jim breathed, surprised at just how close his lips were to the other's.

"If he cannot see a good thing before him… then he is a fool." Spock Prime said deeply, for once the Captain catching a hint of anger in the tones.

"What?" The Captain asked, feeling a rising urgency filling the other. His breath hitched as the Vulcan tightened his hold, almost crushing Jim to his lean, yet muscled form.

"If he does not claim you as his mate…" Spock Prime growled, "…I *will*."

A myriad of emotions welled up in the Captain. The foremost was the feeling of being wanted. Needed. Desired. It all spiraled to coil within Jim, a heat spreading throughout his skin that left him lightheaded. Those brown eyes, so similar… yet so much kinder.

"…I…" Kirk found his voice as unsure as the thoughts that swirled inside. He couldn't help but be pulled closer to the heat that radiated from the Vulcan before him.

Their lips were so close.

Suddenly there was a harsh knock at the door. The two jerked back even before the voice of Spock drifted through, "Spock Prime, I wish to speak with you…"


	3. Chapter 3

The immediate silence that followed had an agonizing affect on the Captain's mental state.

Plagued by guilt and a rather large dose of horniness, Kirk's mind was currently attempting to either drive him into full panic mode or to give up and just go completely insane. But he had faced life and death situations where the livelihood of entire planets and populations had been at stake.

He could handle this.

"…May I inquire as to what you are doing?" Spock Prime questioned, eye brow cocked.

"Attempting to hide." Jim said, as though it had been the most obvious thing in the world.

"You… realize the space beneath the couch is equivalent to precisely 1.45 standard Earth inches?" The older Vulcan inquired, finding the frantic Captain an amusing sight.

Hopping up, Kirk straightened his shirt, wondering why he was still wearing the Starfleet regulation uniform as he hastily replied, "I knew that."

Another knock sounded at the door.

"Hide me!" Jim Kirk's panicked voice was reduced to a high-pitched squeak.

"Jim," Spock Prime admonished, walking towards the door, "I do not understand the chaotic state you have put yourself in."

Jim grabbed the Vulcan's wrist as he walked past, "I am in a 'chaotic state' because that Spock out there wants me dead."

It sounded as lame out loud as it had in his head. But Jim honestly didn't know what else to say. What? That Spock was out there because he noticed the Captain was acting weird? That out of his entire crew, that Vulcan was the only one to realize something was amiss? And that now he had come all this way to… kill him?

Spock Prime frowned, "I hardly believe that he's-"

"All right all right, maybe not." Jim relented aloud in hushed tones, "But you can't open that door!"

Spock Prime quirked an eyebrow, but instead of arguing, he merely kept walking. Refusing to let go of the other's wrist, Jim was unerringly dragged along. He dug his heels into the floor, but was no match for Vulcan strength, even for one at Spock Prime's age. It would have hurt Jim's pride…

…if he didn't have bigger problems to worry about.

"He's gonna drag me kicking and screaming back to the USS Enterprise! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my ship. But that… man… out there intends to *torture* me!" Jim continued to rant in a shouting whisper.

Spock Prime leveled the Captain with a disbelieving stare. After a few more moments, the Vulcan let out a brief exhale and relented, "All right, Jim. The cabinet against the wall would make a very effective hiding place. I suggest you hurry. My younger self is not the most patient person…"

"Thanks," Kirk sprinted over to the cabinet, vaulting over the couch in the process. Just as he backed into it, clicking the cabinet doors closed in front of him, he heard the front door open.

Immediately, he froze in place.

He heard muffled sounds of greeting and then a faint pause.

Wondering what was going on, the Captain pushed the hanging robes out of the way so he could see out of the tiny sliver of a crack between the doors. He only had an angle on the back of the couch and a little view out the sliding glass doors.

Spock walked into view, stopping right before the cabinet. Jim suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Had Spock Prime ratted him out? It only took a few rapid heartbeats, however, for Jim to realize that unless his young Vulcan friend had eyes in the back of his head, he couldn't possibly be staring at his hiding place. As usual, his First Commander's hands were clasped behind his back.

Jim strained his ears as they started speaking.

"What brings you here, Spock?" Spock Prime questioned, wandering into view as well. He stood in front of the couch, gesturing for his younger self to take a seat.

But Spock shook his head, declining as he replied, "I have business that draws me to the area. Tell me, Spock Prime, how are you faring in New Vulcan?"

"It is… not quite the same as before. However, I find useful ways of passing the time every day." The older Vulcan replied, with a slow smile.

"May I inquire as to the reason it took you so long to answer the door?" Spock questioned, and Jim swore he could picture the crease in the younger one's brow, "I thought I heard some voices…"

"Ah, yes. I was having a video conference with one of my old friends, or rather, young friends, due to this whole different time line situation…" Spock Prime trailed off, his gaze wandering around the room before returning, once more, to his younger self, "Are you sure you would not like to have a seat?"

"I must, respectfully, decline Prime." Spock replied, shaking his head once more, "However, may I inquire a simple query?"

"Of course." Spock Prime nodded with a warm smile.

"Have you run into the Captain lately?"

"I presume you speak of Jim?"

"Yes, James Tiberius Kirk."

"Why of course. He stops by all the time. As a matter of fact, he's in that wardrobe closet behind you at this very moment." Spock Prime answered calmly.

When Jim saw that perfectly defined face and pointy ears turn to glance back at his hiding place, Jim could almost swear his heart had launched in terror from his throat. It was flopping aimlessly around in one of these hanging robes, even as Kirk found himself gulping uselessly in the dark.

What was Spock Prime thinking?!

His mind was racing through a thousand explanations at once, but he found it hard to concentrate as those piercing brown eyes continued glaring at his wooden hiding place.

Spock frowned. Jim could hardly blink.

To his immense relief, his First Commander turned back around to face Spock Prime, stating in disapproving tones, "I assume that is your attempt at levity. Unfortunately, I am afraid I am in no mood for such games, Spock Prime. This is a very serious matter, I am afraid the Captain has taken leave of his duty."

"You are saying… that Jim has run away?" Spock Prime's arched brow cocked.

"Well… technically… no. He has merely logged in some shore leave for the span of a couple weeks, but there is more to it than that, I am sure of it." Spock's frown emanated from his tone, his fingers clasping together a little more tightly than before.

"Come now, Spock. You should know Jim almost as well as I. He merely gets restless floating in such a restricted space for such a long time."

Spock had no response. He merely stood there for a while, shifting his weight to his other leg as he thought quietly to himself.

What could he say to his older self? That the Captain had been distancing himself from his First Commander and his crew? That the loss of the irritating, yet light humor of the man's spark had extinguished from his piercing blue eyes? That in attempting to observe the Captain more readily, Spock himself may have seemed a little withdrawn, so as to have better perspective.

Perhaps… his older self was right. Perhaps…

His older self suddenly glanced upwards, behind Spock just as he heard a sudden commotion. With an eerily slow response time, Spock turned to view what had made the noise.

Out of the closet spilled none other than the fleeing fugitive- Captain, himself.

Spock's lips parted, his hands unclasped now at his sides.

"Jim…" The older Vulcan's ripened voice beat his own, and the younger Spock whirled to glance suspiciously between the two.

"My leg was falling asleep…" The Captain offered in explanation, almost coming off with a hint of a whine in the air, except that Captains most certainly do not whine.

"Oh, Jim." Spock Prime closed his eyes briefly to chuckle, with a shake of his head.

Spock's gaze narrowed profoundly, finding its target in one absentminded human currently rubbing life back into his leg.

Within three strides, the First Commander, aka temporary Acting Captain, was at the dirty blonde's side. Jim Kirk barely kept the undignified 'eep' from escaping as he straightened to find the one man he had been trying to escape mere hands widths away.

Spock had enough strength to overturn a house, shake a few extinct elephants together, and probably turn back a supernova with a mere glance. But for the moment, he was only demanding one thing. And the word tumbling from his thinly pressed lips were chiseled from molten lava and steel, his eyes just as adamant as he demanded, "EXPLAIN."

And god help him if Jim just about crumbled and withered under that intensely focused gaze.

What, exactly, was he supposed to do now?


End file.
